Frozen Heart
by Roweena5000
Summary: The price for immortality is high, just how high a price is Ling willing to pay? Giftfic for garnnystan


__Giftfic for **garnnystan **who drew me two wonderfully cute pictures a while ago, even though I only asked for one. :) I am so sorry that this is more than terribly late, but here it finally is, the final version. Enjoy!

Many thanks to Darkspine29 for being my beta.

* * *

><p><em>Can<em>_ you do it? _A simple question, one without a simple answer.

Ling tried to ignore the words, but they kept swirling through his mind until they became all that he could think of. For three days, it had been all that he could think of. The words spoken by the one who could put an end to his quest, the tempting offer that he was ashamed of even considering, and yet he was.

"Young master, is something bothering you?"

Ling raised his eyes from the spot on the floor where he had been staring and smiled widely.

"No, of course not, why would it?"

Looking into her eyes, he knew that she didn't believe him. He also saw that she wouldn't push it, she never did.

"And why must I still remind you to call me Ling whenever we are alone, Ran Fan?"

Ran Fan, suddenly looking shy, turned her gaze to the floor and spoke softly.

"It is not that easy, youn- Ling."

He stopped smiling and reached out to tip her head up. In her eyes, he saw doubt, concern, and so many other feelings he couldn't name.

"Why not, Ran Fan? How can it not be so when you know that I love you?"

She got back some of her usual spirit and fixed him with her eyes; she looked very much like a mother scolding a child.

"Because you are my master, and you are not allowed to love me. And I am even less allowed to love you. You need to get that into that thick head of yours and stop dreaming!"

Ling laughed and pulled her into a hug, ignoring her sputter of protests.

"There's the girl I know! What would life be like if we didn't have dreams, Ran Fan?"

Her answer, muffled by having her face pressed against his chest, was the one she always gave.

"A lot calmer for a bodyguard."

"And a lot duller for the rest of us."

He laughed again and let her sit up again, but kept holding her close. This time, she smiled back, and when he kissed her, she only hesitated for a moment before kissing him back. Ling sighed into the kiss when Ran Fan wrapped her arms around him. She held him tightly, so strong and yet so soft. How could he ever do what was asked of him? Even for the prize of immortality, now that she was finally his, could he give her up?

~o~O~o~

"_So you seek immortality, little boy?"_

_The woman smirked and patted the short creature beside her, it looked like a sick caricature of a human, and Ling had no idea why this beautiful woman would have such a thing in her care._

"_Y-yes, I do." _

_Ling heard how weak and unsure he sounded and hated himself for it. This was it, right? He would finally learn the secret he had come so far to find. Drawing in a deep breath of the cold air, he spoke again, much more confident this time, even though his knees were shaking. _

"_Yes, and I demand that you tell me the secret."_

_She laughed, a cold unnerving laugh, sending chills down Ling's back. Suddenly the woman didn't seem all that human either, shadows danced around the room with the flicker of candles, her glimmering white teeth made him think of wolves. _

"_Then so I shall, boy. I usually don't take order from humans, but this might amuse me."_

_She came closer, close enough to whisper into his ear._

"_Listen carefully, boy, I will not tell you twice. The price for immortality is… the one you love most in this world." _

_Ling's eyes widened in horror, backing away from the woman, he stared in shock._

"_What!" _

"_You heard me. It's simple, kill the person you love most and I shall grant you your wish."_

_She walked away, motioning for the short one to follow her, Ling yelled after her._

"_There must be another way! Tell me the real answer!"_

_She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. _

"_That is the only way." _

_Ling fell to his knees, stuttering._

"_This… this can't be true. I...I… No, I…but…"_

"_I will be waiting, boy; you have seven days. Can you do it?"_

_She was gone, leaving him in a shivering heap on the floor. _

"_No. No, no, no…"_

~o~O~o~

"No!"

Ling sat up with the scream still on his lips, next to him, he more felt then heard Ran Fan's cursing before she flew out of bed, ready to face any danger that might be upon her master. When she saw and heard nothing but Ling's continuing mutterings, she relaxed a bit and sat down on the bed; she put her hand on her master's shoulder and shook him gently.

"Youn- Ling, calm down, it's only a nightmare."

Ling started and stared unseeingly for a moment before turning his eyes down, afraid that she would see the truth, the disgusting and horrid truth in his eyes. That he, her young master whom she had served so devotedly, was considering such a horrible offer.

Ling felt her searching eyes upon him, she must be worried, and this was so unlike him after all. Forcing himself to smile, he looked up at her and placed a hand on her cheek.

"It's nothing love, just a dream. Go back to sleep."

"But, Li-"

"No, it's nothing. Let's sleep."

He lay back down again, and a moment later, she followed him, curling up next to him so that he could hold her close. He knew that she was hurt, and still worried about him; he also knew that she would not talk about it again, because he had said it was nothing. Despite her strong spirit and will to protect him no matter what, Ran Fan also knew when not to push it.

Ling lay awake and listened to Ran Fan's breathing evening out as she fell asleep. Would it always be this way when he didn't want to talk about something? He had not meant to hurt Ran Fan by not telling her about the dream and he could not help but wonder if she could ever be truly happy with him after all. Ling knew himself well enough to know that this would not be the last time he hurt the woman he loved. And with Ran Fan being his bodyguard and him the prince… his family would never accept her. An unwelcome thought entered his mind and made his heart sink; perhaps… perhaps it would be for the best if he could spare her from it all.

~o~O~o~

"Ran Fan, I want to tell you something."

She looked up from the scroll she had been reading, or at least pretending to read, as her eyes never ceased to scan the surroundings for possible threats. Now, she lay the scroll down and turned her attention to him,

"Yes, young master?"

Ling was about to correct her when he remembered the servants which tended to the potted trees in the other end of the hall. No matter how unlikely it was that the servants could hear them, it was still best to keep the formalities.

He sighed and turned back to Ran Fan, who met his eyes from behind her mask. For a moment, he stared into her eyes, wondering if he had made the right choice or not. No, this would be for the best. It could never end well; they both knew it, no matter how much Ling wanted the answer to be another.

"You remember the dream I had the other night?"

She nodded slowly, not showing with a gesture or a word what was going through her mind and even her eyes remaining without an expression while she waited for him to continue. He hesitated, asking himself one last time if he was doing the right thing, and then he told her everything.

When he had finished talking, Ran Fan excused herself, saying that she needed to think, and left him without another word.

~o~O~o~

When he found her, it was on the top of the palace roof, sitting with her legs crossed and looking out over the city. He sat down beside her and waited for her to say something, anything. When she finally did, it wasn't what he had thought it would be. He had expected a lecture, a scolding on how a prince was supposed to act; this he was prepared for, for what she said, however, he was not.

"Is this what you want, Ling?"

"I..."

He trailed off, unsure of what to say. Yes, it was what he wanted, part of it at least, and even though he wished it could be different, he was not meant to have a life with Ran Fan by his side. He was the prince, the heir to the emperor, and he wanted immortality. But most of all, he wanted Ran Fan to be happy, and she could never be that if she was to stay by his side like this. Hiding in the dark, stealing kisses when no one was watching, it was not the life he wanted for her and he knew that, as his bodyguard, she would never leave her master as long as she was alive. In the end, this was all he had to give her.

"Yes, it is."

She nodded and raised her head to look up at the sky.

"I see."

"I never wanted for it to end like this, Ran Fan, you must believe that."

She went silent again, for a while they both sat and watched the clouds chase each other across the sky.

"When do you want this to happen?"

The sudden question startled him and he turned to look at Ran Fan who had taken off her mask and was looking at him with a strange expression in her eyes. She looked as if she was about to break, yet at the same time, she seemed calm, determined. He drew in a shaky breath.

"This is the seventh day."

She nodded once more and with the swiftness of lifelong training, she drew one of her knives and placed it in Ling's hand and closed his fingers around the hilt. He looked from the knife to her face and back to the knife.

"What are you doing, Ran Fan?"

Looking affectionately at him and with a small smile on her lips, she spoke softly.

"My duty, young master, as always."

Before Ling had the time to answer, or even fully comprehend what Ran Fan was talking about, she clasped his hand between her own two hands and ran the knife into her chest.

Ling stared at the growing red stain on Ran Fan's tunic, not being able to move a muscle until Ran Fan's body went limp and she began sinking to the ground. He caught her in his arms and held her close, desperately trying to stop the blood flow.

"Ran Fan, no! You can't die, why did you do that for?"

Ling's vision clouded over with tears when he saw the almost serene smile on his loved one's face and she lifted a shaking hand to rest on his cheek. It was cold, cold and wet. The blood on her hand mixed with his tears but he didn't care, nothing mattered any more, Ran Fan was going to die and Ling had realized with painful clarity that this was not what he wanted. He didn't want immortality if Ran Fan wasn't there to share it with him, didn't want anything but her, and now it was too late.

She opened her mouth and spoke; he could barely hear her and leaned closer.

"I'd do anything… for you. I… I love you, Ling."

Ran Fan's body went still and her hand fell down from his cheek. She was gone. Ling realized this as a numbing cold crept through him.

_She was__ gone._

~o~O~o~

Standing on the top of the hill, Ling looked down over the valley. In the center of it there were a Sakura tree blossoming, standing out from the rest of the trees which still were bare after the winter. The pink hue that was the Sakura tree seemed to be inviting him to come closer, to come and smell the flowers.

2000 years.

Has it really been that long? Ling wondered and laid his palm against the rough bark. 2000 years since the young and foolish man he had been back then destroyed the only good thing that he had ever had. With a sigh he sat down under the tree and began talking while his hands moved on their own accord, they knew the routine by now, how it was easiest to start from the upper left corner of the stone to rid it of the weeds and moss.  
>"It's been a while now, hasn't it, Ran Fan? Judging by the moss, I'm late. Please forgive me."<p>

There's no answer, nor was he expecting one, yet he keeps talking. He tells her about his latest travels, how the world has changed since his last visit, about meeting the peculiar people beyond the seas and how much he misses her. He keeps talking long after finishing freeing the stone of weeds and moss, leaving it looking almost as new. When Ling has nothing more to say and prepares to leave the valley for his next journey, the trees are beginning to show their yellow and red clothing.

The air is cold, but it has been a long while since Ling cared for such trivial things; the only cold he know is the one inside him, in his heart


End file.
